Well I am sick and have been for about 5 days now. I cannot shake this horrible cold I have. But I am so excited because Danny is coming home for a midtour in April. I keep telling myself April is not far away, it is so close. I already spoke to my boss about time off. Turns out I can get a week's paid vacation. I am so happy. Danny has also been able to email me more often. He has even called me a couple of times. He is usually really busy though. He tells me that a lot of days he has to choose between eating and sleeping. My poor baby. He works so hard and my heart breaks for him. I feel so blessed to hear from him every few days though because I know some men over there don't even get that much time. Hell, I will take whatever I can get. Sometimes I am scared that when he comes back he will be different. I don't know what I will do. And when he comes back for good I worry about flashbacks. If I witness those I will start crying. It will make what he is going through so much more real. He told me once, that when he got back from his first deployment his family threw him a party and when a balloon popped he hit the ground. I will freak out if I see that. I won't know what to do. But why am I worrying about that now? I often worry about things that I don't need to worry about. And then things I should worry about (like homework) I don't. I am such a procrastinator. I haven't done my homework because I haven't felt well but I am not going to skip school tomorrow (even though I really really want to) actually I am still debating that.
Man April, April, April, April, April!!!! It is so close I can taste it. I need to work out and some new clothes. When he comes home I am going to show him the wedding stuff I have picked out. Like the reception hall, tuxes, bridesmaids dresses. I am so excited for him to see. I showed him pictures of everything and he said he likes my taste (which is good because I have a lot more stuff to pick out while he is gone). I feel crazy. Who looks forward to April in January unless your birthday is in that month. I DO!!! I seriously cannot stop smiling like a fool. Oh well though I love having something to look forward to as oppose to just going from one day to the next with nothing to motivate me. This is the first stop in a very long deployment.