When will it end??

Ok so today was just one of those days. It really didn't even start until I got home from work but once I did I sat down on the couch (instead of starting the homework that I needed to do) and finished the movie my lil sis had started. I don't even know the name of it, but of course the end has some love scene, the guy grabs the girl, the passionate kiss, the music swells, you know the drill. I have been able to do ok with some of those movies but today it got me. I started to cry. I am so frustrated, the end is within reach but not really. I have about a month left and it is taking TOO LONG!!! Time has never seemed to go so slow. After the movie I went and met my friend Julie at Sonic where we got food then drove to the Target parking lot to eat it and talk. Don't ask why we went to Target to eat it but we did. Afterward I was driving home and I heard this song by Kenny Chesney "You Saved Me", once again my eyes started to tear up. I don't really know how relevant that song is to Danny and I but it is really just the fact that I have no idea what I would do if something happened to him, or where I would be without him. My whole life and everything I do and the decisions I make are based on our future together. But of course I didn't change the station, then wouldn't you know it some other song came on immediately afterward, I mean really, it was the next song, and it is about a soldier that had just come back from war and how someone said he was different and he explained that he came from a land where everyone hated him and his friends were dying and no one cared. Also a tear jerker for me at this time. DAMN COUNTRY SONGS!!!! I mean I love it but come on people, give a poor girl a break. So right now I am forced to ask...When will it end?? How much longer really?? Is it going to continue to be this hard at the end?? I can't handle the frustration. I have been missing Danny so much lately, and I have been talking to him more than usual. He has had more free time so he can call me more than once a month. You think that would make it easier and I wouldn't be missing him so bad, but it doesn't. It used to do the trick, I would hear from him and I would be ok for a bit, but now it's not good enough. I want a hug, I want a kiss, cuddling, movie watching, talking face to face. Those are the things I want. I miss how clueless he is to what I want, how messy he is when he eats, how cute he is when he sleeps, I even miss goofy grin he gets when he has successfully pissed me off. I miss it all. Sigh. Why can't it just be over now?

Almost there....

Ok so I am definately getting anxious. And as of now Danny has to stay in Texas for the 4 day leave when he gets home. At first I was soooo stressed about that because I can't miss school. But eventually, I just got over it. I am fine. JUST KEEP BREATHING, is what I keep telling myself. Which is actually a big deal for me, because I tend to stress out so easily. But right now, I have so much stress in my life that any additional is just cause for laughter. So lately, I have been laughing my butt off. I am so happy for Michelle (Until He Comes Home), her hubby just got home. I remember when Danny first left it seemed like everyone's men were coming home. I was sooo happy and incredibly jealous at the same time. But now it is MY TURN, and how funny cuz it seems like so many other peoples guys are coming home. YAY US!! We have all almost made it!!!!!

News

Ok well as you all can see the days are getting fewer in number until I see Danny again and I can't wait. But along with this joyful occasion of seeing each other again unfortunately comes stress. See I am living in Missouri where we both grew up. My parents and his parents are very strict and although I am an ADULT I can't go down to Texas alone. Now his parents want to go too to see him when he comes home and I understand that. But they want to fly down on Dec. 1. Which is the day he is coming home. They only get a few days off so they can't go down earlier. 1: I can't really afford a plane ticket because of my lovely new car, 2: If we fly in on Dec. 1 we might miss the ceremony and I don't want to miss that. So now my dad and I are going to drive down there the night before so we won't miss the ceremony. Now I love my dad with all my heart and I appreciate him going with me, but that is one more person that I have to share my Danny time with. I am not thrilled about that. Danny is only getting a 3 day pass then he has to go back to work, then later he will get a month off to come home (Missouri). Oh and to top it all off, Danny's parents are only talking to my parents about it. They don't make plans with me. HELLO!!! I am going to be his WIFE. And I am plenty capable of understanding plans. Give me a break. GRRRR. So then the plan changed to his parents would fly down there and my dad and I would drive, we would pick him up, his parents would fly home and he would ride home with my dad and I. Now this plan I liked, because I wouldn't have to miss my Saturday class, and I would have time with him in the car (not alone time cuz my dad is there but we will kind of be alone) and we will get more time alone if he is home because we usually stay up after his parents go to bed. But now the plans have changed again and we are all renting a van and driving down there together. We will leave late at night on the 31st and drive all through the night. I am going to look awful because I will be cooped up in a car for 14 hours. I want to be soo cute when I first see him. Well anyway, if we stay in Texas, Danny and I will never be alone. And I hate that idea. I waited for him to come home just as long as anybody else. I am the one that emails him everyday, I am the one that blows lots of money on packages, but whatever. I keep trying to tell myself that nothing matters as long as I get to see him. But I am not convinced. Oh and keep in mind that all of these changes in the plan aren't really being run by me in any way. I have to keep asking if we know what is going on yet. MY DAD IS THE ONE THAT KNOWS THE PLANS!!! My dad???? Come on, I feel so underminded. Now one thing that you should know about me is that I like to have things planned out WAY in advance, I get stressed out otherwise, so you can imagine how much this is killing me. Oh wait there's more.
This whole Texas thing brings up the fact that there is a military ball in April that Danny really wants me to go to. And I want to go too. I haven't met any of his friends or their wives, and I would like to considering I am going to be moving down there. Now April is 2 months before my wedding. And see, like I said my parents are strict. In April I will be 20 and they most likely are not going to let me go down by myself. Now who in their right mind would want to go with me? They won't be going to the ball that's for sure so why have someone else come. The answer: Danny and I must be supervised. Ever since Danny and I have been together I have never been to Texas because of that reason. I wasn't even allowed to go to college down there. Now don't get me wrong I love my parents very much and Danny's parents are actually the same way and I love them too but do they really need to be that strict when we are engaged and it is two months before the wedding???
Speaking of weddings my planning has kind of flatlined lately. I really should work on it but I don't have a whole lot of time. Recently I became so frustrated about mine. See, there are so many politics involved, meaning, people that should be in it, people that are that you don't want anymore (but that one is fixed), stuff like that. For a while I was to the point where I just wanted to marry him. I don't need a really big wedding, I just want Danny, that's all. I am trying to get over that feeling, but it is hard sometimes. School has been keeping me really busy lately but I am doing ok I guess. I hate chemistry with all my heart. Harsh I know but really I don't like it at all. Ummm, let's see what else is new. Hmmm... Ok well I guess nothing else is really going on.
Oh I almost forgot. How could I forget this??? I found out on Sunday that Danny is going back to Iraq in 2008. Now this was my biggest fear because at that point I will be in Texas, away from all of my family. He wants me to move home while he is gone but I said I can't. See I will probably be in the middle of school or have a job by then. But I guess we will see. I really really don't want him to have to go again. This will be his third deployment. I don't know what I will do when that happens. :( I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now I am focused on the fact that I am going to see Danny in 44 DAYS!!!!! YAY!!!!

Hmm

So instead of starting on that sociology paper that I know is due tomorrow for my mid term, or even studying for the midterm itself, I am fooling around on the computer. Go figure. I mean...that is so unlike me :) Anyway, I got home from work just an hour ago and I don't feel like jumping into my homework. Oh so good news. I got a 95% on my paper. YAY!! That is the first paper with that teacher so I was nervous. I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW!! I need to get a hair cut, go shopping for baby shower stuff, birthday stuff, clothes for me, and I want a pedicure. So the next day I have off (Lord knows when that is) I am going to spoil myself, not only will I go shopping, but I will sit on my butt and enjoy every minute of it. I am going to have to be careful though because I have car payments. MAN!! Anyway, I guess I will do some homework. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Do you see?????

My countdown has officially begun. YAY!!! 60 days. I can hardly believe it. The end is really in sight. This year really has gone by fast. I had some rough times, but I hung in there and now it is practically over. Granted the end has proven itself to be the hardest so far but hey I can do it. HOOAH!!! As long as I keep breathing and keep a smile on my face whether it be real or as fake as Michael Jackson's nose (tee hee), I will keep it on. Oh the other day Danny sent me flowers. I know what you're thinking "man she is spoiled" but in all honesty I am not. I have earned those, we won't go into how, but we'll just say I put up with a lot. Tee hee. Anyway, he sent them to me to show me that he appreciates everything that I do for him. Which I am glad he does. Soooo yeah, I am not quite sure what else to post about but I told Angie at work today that I would post on here. (So you better comment Ang! Hee hee love ya). Well it is off to the wonderful world of homework. You ladies are amazing. Keep your chins up!!