Well I am sick and have been for about 5 days now. I cannot shake this horrible cold I have. But I am so excited because Danny is coming home for a midtour in April. I keep telling myself April is not far away, it is so close. I already spoke to my boss about time off. Turns out I can get a week's paid vacation. I am so happy. Danny has also been able to email me more often. He has even called me a couple of times. He is usually really busy though. He tells me that a lot of days he has to choose between eating and sleeping. My poor baby. He works so hard and my heart breaks for him. I feel so blessed to hear from him every few days though because I know some men over there don't even get that much time. Hell, I will take whatever I can get. Sometimes I am scared that when he comes back he will be different. I don't know what I will do. And when he comes back for good I worry about flashbacks. If I witness those I will start crying. It will make what he is going through so much more real. He told me once, that when he got back from his first deployment his family threw him a party and when a balloon popped he hit the ground. I will freak out if I see that. I won't know what to do. But why am I worrying about that now? I often worry about things that I don't need to worry about. And then things I should worry about (like homework) I don't. I am such a procrastinator. I haven't done my homework because I haven't felt well but I am not going to skip school tomorrow (even though I really really want to) actually I am still debating that.
Man April, April, April, April, April!!!! It is so close I can taste it. I need to work out and some new clothes. When he comes home I am going to show him the wedding stuff I have picked out. Like the reception hall, tuxes, bridesmaids dresses. I am so excited for him to see. I showed him pictures of everything and he said he likes my taste (which is good because I have a lot more stuff to pick out while he is gone). I feel crazy. Who looks forward to April in January unless your birthday is in that month. I DO!!! I seriously cannot stop smiling like a fool. Oh well though I love having something to look forward to as oppose to just going from one day to the next with nothing to motivate me. This is the first stop in a very long deployment.

Hey everyone. my name is Katie and I am Courtney's little sister. I just want to tell all of you that I really apprecaite what you do. You guys have been so helpfull to Courtney. I mean she tells me what she is going through and she tells our family but we can't understand the same way you guys can. Well I will leave you all alone now. i just wanted to say thank you and Tell you all how much you mean to me. I hope Courtney is helping you as much as you are helping her. and you are all in my prayers as well as your spouses.

Love,
Katie

My first day back to school is tomorrow. To be honest I am not very excited. I am taking all music classes this semester though so it should be a breeze. I finally heard from Danny. It sounds like things are getting more violent for him over there. What makes it worse is that the night before I got his email, I watched a few episodes of "Over There". It was actually a good show. Most of the things in the show I thought I didn't really have to worry about "those kind of things were happening right when we got over there, not now, it isn't that bad now" I thought to myself. Well, I think I am wrong. I know I am naive. I always have been naive about everything and I always get shocked when I find out the world isn't as safe as I thought it was. Danny decided he wants to reenlist, he is going to sign up for 5 more years. Which means he will most likely get deployed again. It is going to be harder for me then because we will be married, living in Texas, away from our families. So when he is gone I will really be alone. I was thinking about that earlier. I can not imagine how much harder it is for the women who just got married and are really alone. My heart breaks for those women. But if that is the way military life is going to be then I wouldn't have it any other way because I am head over heels in love with a soldier and I will be for the rest of my life.

This is us. I love him so much!!!

Well my New Years was not that bad the whole night was pretty much spent with friends. The part that really sucked was midnight. That was when my friends all turned to their boyfriends and started kissing. It sucked. I left the room, but I couldn't go far. It seemed like I was the only one that when alone. Eventually the kissing stopped and I got a little more comfortable but thoughts of Danny were still in my mind. A couple of days after New Years I received and email from him saying that the place where he is really is not as safe as he thought it was. He told me there is a cement covered hole in the wall of his room where a bomb went in but didn't go off. Even though he told me that the bomb thing happened way before he got there, it still made my heart drop into my stomach. I also found out that the tank in front of him got hit with an IED the other day. No one was hurt (thank God) but this also made my heart sink. I was so happy to think he was in a safe area. I knew no place was really safe but this doesn't sound safe at all. I am really starting to miss talking to him too. Even though he was stationed in Texas and I lived in Missouri, I got to talk to him every night. We did not go one night without talking to each other. We talked for hours. About the future and how we can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together, or about how excited we are to be seeing each other soon (I usually got to see him once a month). But even not being able to see him except once a month wasn't hard because I could talk to him. Talking to him made him seem so close. Now I can't and it kills me. I don't really sleep well anymore. I think it is because when he was in Texas we talked until we started falling asleep. Now I sit in my room by myself with no one to talk to. I get so lonely. I hope I will eventually get used to being completely alone at night and start sleeping better. I am also hoping that with my next semester of school starting in week I will be kept busy. So busy that I don't have time to dwell on Danny being gone. I hope. As for now, every day is a new one and I am trying to make it count.